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Well, well, well...

Mr. Motzko-

It is mandatory and urgent that we save the school from destruction!

There are a few things that are of pressing nature that must be resolved!

Deerprints and Earthworks are on the verge of corruption!

1)Destroy and get rid of homework of all types!

2)Go back in time and prevent the election of George Bush

3)Replace the octet rule with pi as the answer to all things

After this, and this only will the school be saved!

And if it is not saved, then that(')s ok too

However, beware, there might be blood; and a lot of it at that.

O yeah, bring your chapstick, but don't ask why.

And bring your top hat, if you don't have one get one from Sally.

Trust Us,

Berry, Pat, Zwick, and Keeshin (mostly)

Other Biology-Related and Non-Biology-Related Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The complete answers

MR. MOTZKO: The answer, lies obviously in two vital tenets. I could be talking about the central dogma, but I'm not. I actualy am talking about the Octet Rule and Surface Area to Volume Ratio. As these two are the answer to everything we must search them to find the answer to this sought after question. And you must pollinate the rare titan arum by any means.

BERRY: I would normally tell you the whole answer in Latin, but I know all of you are so ignorant that you wouldn't get it.

PAT: The chicken, acting in his chickenly ways, was crossing the road to reach his obvious destination of Notre Dame. Because they are so good at football. Did you see the game last night?

ZWICK: I am the chicken. And you know what? I dont even care! I could cross or not cross and all of you would have to wait for me!

ME: That chicken was a genius. I love how hes getting so much publicity. If i got that much press for crossing the road I'd already have my own sitcom by now!

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road, as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

FAT GUY: I eat chicken

JOSE CANSECO: The chicken was juiced up on steroids! Mark McGwire and I would shoot the chicken in the buttocks everyday after baseball practice. All the details are in my new book.

JESSICA SIMPSON: Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?